The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give Your Family
(Spoiler: It’s Not a Cruise or an Espresso Machine)
In this heartfelt and witty blog, TJ Recinella shares the powerful lesson he learned after experiencing the sudden loss of loved ones: the most meaningful gift you can give your family isn’t material—it’s being prepared for the inevitable. Through personal story and practical advice, he urges readers to get their affairs in order now—not later—so their families are left with peace, not paperwork. He also provides a clear checklist of essential documents and information to keep in one accessible location, making it easy to get started.
Let’s talk about a gift.
Not the kind wrapped in shiny paper or delivered in two days with free shipping. I’m talking about the ultimate, most underrated, life-changing gift you can give your loved ones:
Being prepared for the inevitable.
I know—cue the record scratch.
Talking about death? Not exactly a party conversation starter. But here’s the truth: we’re all going to die someday. (You’re welcome for the pep talk.) The real question is—will we leave behind peace and clarity… or chaos and confusion?
Let me take you back to a time when life felt full of promise.
We had just welcomed a new baby. The house was buzzing with diapers, bottles, and that dazed “what just happened to our lives?” look—mostly caused by sleep deprivation and not having a clue how to care for a newborn.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
A tragic accident took both of my wife’s parents.
In an instant, we went from learning how to be new parents to managing an estate. From changing diapers to caring for a college senior who suddenly needed support and direction. Grief hit like a freight train—and so did the paperwork, decisions, and financial confusion.
What made it all even harder?
The will was outdated.
No clear direction.
No checklist.
No instructions.
Just a financial mess wrapped in emotional trauma.
We didn’t know what to do with the money that was left. So… we did nothing. It just sat there. We didn’t feel right touching it. We were paralyzed by grief, guilt, and confusion. And when you’re emotionally drained, the last thing you want to do is navigate financial and legal logistics that only remind you they’re gone.
Now, years later, I’ve seen both sides:
The aftermath of not being prepared…
And the peace of mind that comes when you are.
So let me say this as clearly as I can:
Get your affairs in order. Not someday—now.
- Write or update the will.
- Get the life insurance.
- Name the guardians.
- Add beneficiaries to everything.
- Have the conversations that matter.
It’s not morbid. It’s mature.
It’s not scary. It’s sacred.
And it’s one of the most loving things you’ll ever do.
We spend so much time thinking about what we’ll leave behind—money, houses, heirlooms—but rarely think about how we’ll leave it. And that’s what truly makes the difference.
When my time comes, I want my family to cry because they miss me—not because they’re untangling a financial mess or arguing over cremation vs. burial.
So, here’s your challenge:
Don’t wait.
Don’t say “next month.”
Start now.
- Call the lawyer.
- Check your policies.
- Sit down and talk with your spouse or trusted loved ones.
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about you.
It’s about them.
And they deserve the gift of peace.
What to Keep in One Accessible Location for Your Loved Ones
Create a single, secure place—physical or digital—where your most important documents and instructions are stored. Make sure at least one trusted person knows where to find it.
Why does this matter?
Because we found insurance policies and account statements scattered randomly throughout the house—in drawers, folders, even stuffed in kitchen cabinets. One time, we got a call from a credit union about an account still open years after the passing. And in one case, we had to reopen the estate, which meant more attorney fees, more paperwork, and more stress. It was a mess.
Save your loved ones from all that.
Update this info at least once a year, or anytime there’s a life change—marriage, divorce, new baby, or the passing of someone mentioned in your documents.
Here’s what to include:
Essentials to Keep in One Spot
- Power of Attorney
- Living Will / Advance Directives
- Insurance Policies
- Homeowners or renters
- Auto
- Umbrella
- Life
- Bank Account Information
- Account numbers and institutions
- Brokerage and Investment Accounts
- Credit Card Information
- Recent statements or list of card numbers and issuers
- List of Monthly, Quarterly, and Annual Bills
- Include due dates and payment methods
- Last 3 Years of Tax Returns
- Passwords and Access Info
- Phone and computer passcodes
- Email accounts
- Banking/investment platforms
- Apps, software, and social media
- Safe combinations or access instructions
- Social Media Instructions
- Specify if accounts should be deleted, memorialized, or managed another way
- Personal Letter or Video Message (Optional)
- A heartfelt message to your loved ones in your own words
This may not be the gift anyone asks for…
But when the time comes, they’ll be so grateful you gave it.
Want help taking that first step? I’ve been there, and I’d be honored to help.
Want coaching?
Let’s connect, let’s build you up, let’s make you elite and let’s get you to believe in yourself!
Schedule a free financial coaching session here.
TJ is a financial coach that helps couples who earn good money but feel like they have nothing to show for it. They’re unsure about their financial situation and frustrated that they aren’t where they should be. He provides a path forward and helps them believe in themselves so they can get unstuck, gain confidence, take control and change their financial future.
Let’s chat—book a free call:
About the Author
TJ Recinella (Owner/ Founder of TJR Financial Coaching)
TJ helps couples who earn good money but feel like they have nothing to show for it. They’re unsure about their financial situation and frustrated that they aren’t where they should be. He provides a path to help them get unstuck, gain confidence, and change the financial future of their families.
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